Last week we hired a car, drove from Fiumicino, through Rome, across Italy to Barletta around Barletta and Trani and eventually back to Fiumicino.
As an ex driving instructor, I feel I am qualified to have an opinion, not just on Italian drivers but also the road system. For those who want a summary… it’s madness 😳… here’s why.
First of all let’s point fingers at the beaurocrats. Apart from the motorways, most roads are in dire need of maintenance being full of pot holes, raised by tree roots and no or worn out road markings and signs. The last one explains a lot of the Italian driver’s behaviour.
It’s difficult to keep to a speed limit if you don’t know what it is, giving way at a junction is optional when there are no stop or give way lines and pedestrian crossings? Good luck with that one. On that topic, Patty and I were harassed by a driver scowling at us and reving his engine. He was stopped on the crossing held up by traffic ahead. We started to cross in front of him and the traffic ahead of him started to move, he was angry we were holding him up more. Bear in mind Patty was limping with an ankle injury 😳.
On one section of road there was a speed limit that kept changing between 50kph and 80kph. This was a very straight, wide road in a rural area. The safe speed could easily be 100kph along the whole stretch. There were half a dozen speed cameras on that road.
Yes, I am living my dream of travelling the world in an affordable manner. But what’s the cost? This is going to be a hard post for me, it will reveal difficulties in my life that very few people are aware of.
Well financially, its affordable. It is costing more per month than I budgeted for but even with no further income, I can survive at least another year. I have a couple of small sources of income so in reality I can survive another 2-3 years before i have to go back to employment. I am working on a software app which, if successful, would provide regular long term income.
But what about emotionally? That’s a different story. The cost is contact with friends and family, you cannot put a price on that. Loneliness and isolation have, and continue to be a major factor in my life.
I have tried to do something about it and will go through some of what I’ve done and how it turned out. But, in summary, I have yet to meet that one person who is happy with themselves, knows what they want, and are brave enough to take necessary risks to get it.
Online messaging friends and family
I try to do this regularly but I have noticed this usually ends up a one way street. By this i mean I usually initiate contact and it eventually tails off until I spark it off again. It’s still worthwhile though, they have busy lives and time restricted. I have too much time on my hands.
Facebook Groups
I have had good new contacts this way, one turned into a very short term relationship. But mostly these are people who have their own plans and looking for somebody to join them or to discuss sailing issues. I did made contact with a lady who joined me as crew for nearly two months via one of these groups. But mostly these contacts are dreamers, curious about this lifestyle but not brave enough to do it for themselves or are recovering from a life changing event such as bereavement or divorce and are in the process of self discovery.
Meeting locals
I have had least success here, I meet other sailors at the marina and have made new friends that way. I have also met locals through Facebook groups. But they tend to be short duration contacts.
Dating sites
I have been registered on various dating apps such as Facebook dating, match.com, tinder and bumble. It’s a jungle.
Several times I have found what initially appears to be a good prospect, but what starts out well, has consistently hit a roadblock. Some of the dead ends I have followed are.. ladies who don’t know what they want and are disappointed in not finding it 🤔😳, a rich lady who wanted a companion to fit in her life, ladies who just want attention and are not serious about meeting, ladies who are actually men, ladies who have artificial intelligence, ladies who are scammers, I won’t give more detail but you get the idea. I am sure there are some lovely, perfect for me, ladies out there, but after 7 months, I am starting to doubt it.
What has prompted this post is my latest failure. I met a lady who is nearly perfect for me. But, through a combination of factors, it’s not going any further. I am hugely disappointed and having to seriously consider whether the cost (loneliness) is worth it. I will continue to travel this summer but I need to rethink my future plans. I have discovered how much I need human contact, how much I need to have somebody with me. Yes this is post is full of self pity, but it’s also honest.
So if there is anyone out there who thinks this lifestyle is for them, who can live in a confined space with a guy who although tries very hard to be the best person he can, will occasionally fail. Please contact me. Or, if this lifestyle is not for you, but have an hour or two to spare, or fancy a cheap holiday in the sun, send me a message to say hello. Sometimes that’s all I need.
I had an opportunity to fly to the USA and spend a week with Imke who fits saddles in the New England area. As this coincided with ex crewmate Nellie being in Barcelona and available to doggy sit Dotty, it was too good an opportunity to miss. So here I am in Dover, New Hampshire, USA have just finished a 4 day road trip around New England.
It has been a really interesting and fun few days and I have learned a lot about horses, saddles, and the importance of having a correctly fitted saddle. Even I could see the difference in the way a horse rode from before and after Imke made small and subtle adjustments.
It’s not all been work though, we have had a lot of fun too. We stayed in a motel one night by the sea and moved the mattress onto the balcony to sleep under the stars. The next night we stayed at a friend’s house and went out to see a live band playing at a distillery. Tonight we plan to go out for a meal with Imke’s daughter and her boyfriend.
I have seen some beautiful locations and pretty houses and towns. It’s a lovely part of the world and I am so glad I got the chance to experience it.
All good things must come to an end though, tomorrow I fly back to Barcelona, pick up Dotty from Nelly then get the night ferry back to Mallorca. That should be the end of my little adventure… 🤔 except its not 🙂 Imke will be flying out to Italy in June when we will spend time together sailing.
